3 healthy lies that psychologists say we should tell ourselves

Healthy lies that we tell ourselves: A woman with crossed fingers behind her back

We usually always value honesty and truth - but sometimes we lie to ourselves. And according to psychologists, that's even good!
If we're sincere... we really can't do that: be honest. That is, if "being honest" means saying what we believe to be the truth, maybe yes. But we do not even know the absolute and for all human beings quite honest (that is, the right) answer to many questions, for example, "What is happiness?", "What is a meaningful life?" and "Why am I what I am?". So what does it matter if we live with a lie here and there - especially if that lie is good for us?

These lies are healthy, according to psychologists.

In fact, psychologists have also come to the conclusion that we live happier with specific lies than with the truth. Shelley Taylor from UCLA in California was the first to popularize the thesis in 1988, and to this day, colleagues keep jumping to the side with approval and evidence. The healthy lies that we (should) tell ourselves can be divided into three broad groups, according to Taylor.

1. "I'm better than average."

According to various studies, most people identify themselves more through their positive qualities than through their negative ones. Also, the majority consider themselves "better than average" - which is obviously untrue from a purely mathematical point of view. This "better than average" usually refers primarily to personality traits that are difficult to measure, such as generosity, a sense of responsibility, politeness, and intelligence. On the other hand, when it comes to special skills such as unicycling or programming, most of them - correctly - rate themselves as worse than average.
According to Taylor, such slight overconfidence helps us build healthy self-confidence and self-esteemIf it goes too far, however, so that our own perception is again contradicting that of others, it has the opposite effect - because then disappointments, failures, and loneliness are inevitable, and personality disorders such as narcissism threaten. So that means: Ideally, we value ourselves a little more than we might deserve - but always keep it to ourselves! 

2. "I have my fate in my own hands."

Well, this is a widespread opinion that is already proven by our language: "Everyone is the maker of his or her happiness." But to find out that there isn't so much truth in it, you only have to think for five minutes. Of course, with our decisions and our actions, we can shape our lives to a certain extent. But: don't we always make the best possible decision that we can make at a certain point in time, under these exceptional and unique circumstances ...? 
Also, we are really helpless at the mercy of countless factors, from the place of birth to the social situation of our parents to the social norms that influence our life. If we are honest, the part that we determine ourselves is ultimately significantly smaller than the position in which we have no free choice.
But how should we motivate ourselves if we were always aware of this? How should we feel strong and confident? Just! So we prefer to suppress it and tell ourselves to manage our own fate. And that is a right decision and a great example of what we really choose freely: Our attitude to the future! And so we at least have our luck in our own hands.

3. "The future will be great, especially for me."

The third healthy lie is that we are usually far more optimistic about the future than our experience and reason teach us. For example, we know from statistics and psychology that only a few couples stay together for their entire life (because people are very likely to develop so differently that they will fall out of love at some point ). However, we still promise our partner at the altar wholeheartedly "until death does us part. "
One could argue that unrealistic optimism is more likely to lead to severe disappointments and, therefore, more likely to harm us. But hope and confidence give us strength, and we need them to face our present with a zest for life and courage.